Slap me and call me Suzy:

...and so it starts anew, afresh... this delicate dance we call... RANDOM MUSINGS BY MALICIOUS POSERS!!!!!!!! Thanks, and a big shout out to HRT for being the first to post! In the last group of posting you all used so many big words. Has anyone heard of the word acronym? Numbers and words. Really ALL of life comes down to those two things. There is NOTHING in this life that can't be simplified down to one or the other or both of those camps. Numbers make the world go round and well, some of us believe that in the beginning WAS the WORD and that nothing that was created was created without the WORD. So that pretty much takes care of everything else.

Go on with your bad self Mr. Pete. Make sense out of numbers and the world suddenly is not such a baffling place after all.

And oh yeah, I almost forgot... BOOYAH! Mad props backatcha boy. Oh that Thea... she sure is a TRICKY one... If she was hot and I was single... just kidding :D OH!!! I GET IT. T. H. E. A.

I may have arrived at the party late, but at least I made it. ...course my theory is that "The Horny Excluded Ass" is code for "Pete, I think you're hot, and THE way that you write makes me HORNY even when you make me feel EXCLUDED from your conversations by using big words. Still I bet you have a righteous ASS. I'll be dreaming of you always...Thea" But then I could be reading into it a bit too much... Hi Pete, hope you had a good fourth of july. You really are beginning to worry me now. I hated math at school, but still ended up working for an accountant. But you are really out there on the number uber-nerd stakes. I may have to point my brother this way just to find out what half of that was that you wrote about. He's a number man too! See ya. I can't believe I read the whole thing. So effing boring. Please forgive, from now on I think I will stick to the comments page. I figure you won't really care as long as people are on your site. Although it is hard to admit, I must say that with each passing entry, I find myself ebbing toward a kind liking for HRT. Call me crazy, and many have, but dude can and has been humorous. AS for you IncrediPete, I am trying, really trying not to crucify you again. I have figured it out though. It is not so much you as it is the company you keep! Specifically, thea (if she ain't gonna capitalize the "T" then neither am I). Honestly, I do not get it. You must realize that there comes a time in every man's life when he must try to better himself. We are only as cool as our coolest friend. I think you know where you need to start. Well, my fine feathered friends, I actually DID sponsor old "Shameless" but she has not yet seemed to notice. I should have known it was a dead end. I've dated high-maintenance women, and there's no future in it.

Jackie, I must say, I couldn't come up with anything more interesting for my diary than MY EFFING LIFE! Sorry it's boring. That's the sorry existence that is me. Sad. I am glad that you are visiting my comments, at the very least. If you ever decide to start a site, I'll gladly come visit your comments page so that your hitcounter will deceive you into thinking people like you, much like what has happened to me.

Oh, and I couldn't help admiring the beautiful use of HTML by our dear friend Mammoth Hunter on the last article's comments...Most impressive! You took so long getting me going that I started to lose interest for a moment. You can bet that there will be something for you to nibble on this evening. Wendy & BJizzle, consider this your only warning. YOUR ASSES ARE MINE!!!! Someone should point out to I'm Gutless that she is making a tremendous mistake. It really is not wise to go after the smartest M-Effer around. I am sure that like me, BJizzle just shat his pants becasue some low life who had to beg for a web site has thrown out a mean old threat. NOT!! All I can say is if you are in any way feeling froggy.............(you know the rest.) Shame on you Pete for setting this bung hole up like that! Wait until your Mother finds out young man! So young, so angry. You all need to invest in some Zoloft before you have a stroke. Thanks for your concern Petie. But do not worry about me. I don't sweat these things, I just handle them and am done! You kids and your endless tirades... If I were 3 years younger and a whole lot more spry I'd jump right in. But seeing as I'm not. I think I'll just perview the cat-fights from a safe operating distance.

But seriously ladies this could all be completely solved in 3 rounds, two gallons of chocolate sauce some whip cream and a wading pool full of jello. My money's on the white chick... I'm for it. Naked jello wrestling would be a great topic for Pete's first webcast. (That's assuming that either chick is un-gross enough that we'd want to see her naked) Naked wrestling? Where do I sign up? OOh baby! Ms. Right's gonna get naked! Trust me, you'll like it... I looked up her hospital gown. ;) Naked Twister at my place! Everybody's invited! (Except Wendy.) Good morning all! (Minus the smear of a person which I will refuse to acknowledge with any useful banter) Pete: How on earth did you manage to make it to college between all those boobs and bombs? I am very proud of you. Hey hot mamma: I'll bring the cold beer sister, it's more fun with a buzz, that way when we all come toppling down noone will worry about bruises until the day after! Golly, I feel so much more pristine in CAPS, ps ... good morning my dearest confindant HRT. Dude, is that you D? The Horny Excluded Ass? It was made blatantly obvious that it's someone I know with a decent sense of humor. Hmmm....Naked Twister with Thea and Onehotmama18. That should be puke-inducing. By the way, beer is for grown-ups. Man, you just don't fucking quit do you? I thought I'd give it a shot yesterday, but what the fuck is your deal? I have been honest and had fun on here until you showed up. Ignoring your ignorant ass would be the adult thing to do, but it seems you'd just find another spot to prick. By the way at 29, I'll drink whatever the fuck I choose. Where the fuck did you come from? How about you go back to the quiet pschosis of a mental cave you've been festering in and go pet your cat. That's right when you do indeed turn 29 (and act 29), you can have whatever you want. Sorry tard, I don't have a cat. ...oh... and all this time I thought "cat" was short for "pussy..." um pussycat yeah that's it... ...oh and the rumor is that "Ms.Right" is quite boobalicious... so being the "typical-flaming-heterosexual-male" that I am... I'm all kinds of down with that... call it naked twister, female mud wrestling, oatmeal wrestling, greco-roman wrestling (in the traditional naked manner) jello wrestling, jello-shots, body-shots, or just a good old fashioned flashing... old men like me need that kind of excitement...

Oh and ordinarily this is the point where I'd get between Wendy and thea and say break it up, can't we all just get along, get over it, play nice, blah blah blah, blah blah... however... since that doesnt seem to be working... I say settle it on the mat! well the pit. And I still got 5 bucks on the white chick. How does 36D (granted, silicone, but who cares, really?) sound? Maybe we can revive the old cat fight and get Ms. Right to wrestle Jennyanydots. Now THAT would be worth seeing! So I tried to respond to what you just posted petey... but it's impossible... well it's impossible to do without sounding like a 19 year old Frat boy... And seeing as I'm almost old enough to be that 19 year old Frat-boy's Dad... I refrain from the comment that I was actually fomenting

*Edit*

"Gee Pete, that sounds swell!" What about Jennyanydots is she um... similar? And btw... how is it that wherever Pete lands he lands just to the left of conflict? What is it about the innate Incredipete-itude. That stirrs up such controversy?

The world may never know... You're a good man HRT. At the risk of getting myself in deep doodoo with Jennyanydots, I will avoid any specific anatomical references to her, but I will say that you would definitely not be dissapointed.

I think it's my inexplicable cockiness that causes all of the controversy. People naturally have the instinct to lash out at cockiness. I'm not nearly so cocky in real life, but the internet brings out my inner jerk. God bless it. ...I'm not cocky...I'm just great, there's a difference, a slight difference but a difference. Kinda like the difference between Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen... See Mary-Kate does Coke, Ashley only does heroin. But then if you lived the tragic wretched lives they live then you'd be forced to turn to a life of crime too... Pete, how is it that Jennyanydots and Ms. Right were fighting over you so profusely if one of them is an asshole from work? Did you tell him the frying pan story where she bashed you? He knows a little too much about your personal life. He should be flogged repeatedly. Let me know doll and I'll smack his ass for you. HRT: Never would I say your name and either Olsen girl in the same sentence. ...i'm like the Anti-Olsen: An Old, fat, black, poor, male, non-twin. If we were anymore opposites...one of us would have to be invisible... and I think one of them is trying to go that route... thea, Ms. Right is a girl I used to date that now lives in Seattle. Jennyanydots is a girl that works at the same place as me. Some guy from work posted as Ms. Right on Wendy's site earlier, at least I think so... Well whomever they are(Ms.Right & Jennyanydots)... I think I'd fork over the $49.95 pay-per-view fee, to see the two of em oil up for some good old fashioned hot oil wrestling... oh wait can I say that? oh well too late... such is Love, life, lust and loathing. Besides, what's a good soap opera weblong digest without the gratuitous sex scene.

P.S.thea, when are you gonna throw your hat in the frey, pony up and do the Diary thang? It'll make you feel good...Everybody's doing it... all the cool people are doing it...and some of the not-so-cool people too. Wander around Diaryland long enough and you'll find some scary schiznit no lie...

ok kids the rain has stopped, time to go and check out the damage the storm has done to my car I left the dam windows down, The storm already killed one of my TV's, so wish me luck in what I'll find...

sometimes Monday's come 2 days late...

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